Well before the pandemic and the rise of social distancing, young men in America were already having less sex. A 2020 study published in JAMA Network Open, which surveyed roughly 10,000 men and women between the ages of 18 and 44, found that 31% of men aged 18-24 and 14% of men aged 25-34 hadn’t had sex in the past year, among other downward trends. Given how we’ve been social distancing and unable to see and meet new people, these numbers are likely to continue dropping in 2020. Even once COVID-19 eventually subsides, the stress of this year might continue wreaking havoc on people’s sex drives.
But sex is vital for our mental and physical health. Sex can improve our mood, make us less stressed, and facilitate better sleep. That’s why—if you can—you should keep having it! One way to get you more excited about having sex is to throw some variety into your sex life by trying out various sex positions.
New sex positions are something you and your partner could go ahead and try out, well, right now if you both wanted to. But before we delve into less typical sex positions (and variations on some of the old classics like missionary, cowgirl, spooning, and doggy style), we have to ask you one question: What are you hoping to achieve by changing up sex positions? This will guide how you approach this list of 50 sex positions, explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of She Comes First.
If your partner has a vulva and you’re looking for positions to help them orgasm, then you want to look for sex positions where you can manually stimulate your partner’s clitoris while penetrating them. “Most women are not going to be able to get highly aroused or have an orgasm unless there’s some kind of clitoral stimulation happening,” Kerner says.
Perhaps you’re looking for more psychological arousal. Then maybe you want to try out a position that feels impulsive. If so, look for positions where you can push your partner up against the wall or have sex on a hard surface.
Or perhaps you want to explore elements of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) with new sex positions. “Some of these positions are great for power play, where you can feel dominant or submissive,” says Kerner.
Or maybe you want to try something new for novelty’s sake. Great, just note that not all of these positions are ideal from start to finish. “You will likely want to mix and match positions,” says Kerner. “You can start in some of the more adventurous and highly athletic positions, but then transition into a less demanding position, where you can fully relax and feel present in the sex you’re having.”
Some of these positions won’t feel incredible the first time, adds Kerner. They might take a few tries to get the hang of. And some, Kerner warns, can potentially be dangerous—not in a sexy way, but in an “Ouch, my back hurts!” way. Don’t overdo it. This isn’t a “push through the pain” situation. If a position doesn’t feel right, then switch to another one. There are plenty of positions here to choose from.